Then I was thinking about quenching, and how we discussed how that stops the power of God on our lives, and how that affects us. I have fallen short of my expectations when I see my quarterly reports from my publisher. When I go through a couple events where I expected to sell some books and didn't, it gets a little scary because I have spent a lot of money, and I'd like to at least break even. When I sit for 4 weeks in front of a computer to proof my manuscript, I wonder if I am just wasting my time. When I look at my ordinary life, I wonder if I can really make an impact in this world around me. When I look down at the mess around me, my fire goes out, and the spark and power that God gave to me is quenched.
That, too, must grieve the Holy Spirit because He has so much more for me, and for any of us, but our will has to accept it. He doesn't force Himself on us. I don't want to be another statistic of someone who gave up too soon, who put the value of money before the value of God's work and spiritual impact. I don't want to be a quitter, another one fallen by the wayside, one more person that Satan can rub in God's face. Ha! She too was only doing this for the money! She was weak and selfish! Instead, I want to be sold out, and let God know that even if times get rough, I am still there for Him to stand strong for His glory and in His strength. Whether He is testing me, or I am really not going to have much financial success, it doesn't matter. I didn't go into this for the money, and I can't look at it that way. Money means nothing to the God who owns everything.
As I kept driving, I put out my right index finger toward the windshield, and I asked God to plug me back in to His power! He and I are in this together. I quenched His spirit with my discouragement. That was MY loss of God's power. There's no better feeling than going on adventures with God, spiritually on fire, hand in hand with the Creator of the universe, standing for God and truth...and hope.
Grieving hurts God, but clearly Quenching hurts me as I limit God's power on my life to impact those around me He wants to touch. I lose that power during those times of discouragement, and the opposite of being on fire for the Lord is to be discouraged, powerless, deadbeat...yuck. I don't like it. Like Peter walking on water, we have to keep our eyes on Him or else we'll sink in despair. Praise the Lord for His goodness and patience with us!