What do you do when someone you love reveals that they are living in a sinful lifestyle? It could be homosexuality, adultery, fornication, alcoholism, drugs, or even something like cheating in business. Our first reaction is often judgment, even anger, disappointment, confusion, sadness, etc. Then with talking and time, people often loosen their standards, and decide that instead they will choose to love. Love conquers all. I am not perfect either, so why should I cast the first stone? God is their judge. They will answer to Him, not me. My job is to just love them, accept them, and ultimately endorse their sin, right? Screech!!! Back the car up!
How are you helping and loving someone by endorsing their sin? This is where people take it too far. Yes, always love them. Yes, always be humble and realize we are all sinners in need of forgiveness and prone to sin. No, we are not their judges, God is. However, we are to make judgments when it comes to sin, and watch for danger, and to protect ourselves and our families from it. If someone appears as a shady character, you will make a judgment call and not go near that person until you know more about them. That is good and right and even wise.
If someone you love is blinded by their sin, embracing that sin will not ultimately help them because sin has chains of darkness with it. It leads to bondage, rebellion against God, which leads to their own harm and harm to others ultimately. Sin deceives, and Satan’s final goal is separation between us and God.
Jesus wrote something in the sand to the men wanting to stone the adulterous woman and said he who is without sin, throw the first stone. They all walked away. Then Jesus said, neither do I condemn thee. GO AND SIN NO MORE. She must have had a repentant heart. Jesus knew her heart as He does ours. He did not embrace her sin or endorse it. He forgave her. He admonished her to have a second chance and stop sinning in adultery. She would break off that sinful relationship.
Psalm 34:14-16: “Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their cry. The face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.”
If you really love someone, lovingly help them out of their sin if they are willing, pray for them, love them, but yes, hate the sin that will destroy their soul and separate them from God.
Isaiah 59:1,2: “Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear:
But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear.”
Read that whole chapter! Judgment is not being used. Truth fails and is fallen in the street! Judgement is turned away backward and justice standeth afar off (vs. 14). Loved ones will not be saved from their sinful lifestyle by turning your back on sound judgment. Help them back into the fold. Leave the 99 and put your energy into that one lost sheep. That is true love and true caring for their soul. Sin brings with it shackles.
James 1:15: “Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.”
To be honest, I feel heartbroken and disappointed when I see parents cave and give up the fight for righteousness and holy living and endorse their children’s sin because they don’t want the riff in the relationship. The child in sin caused that, not you. You need to protect your other children from sin. Endorsing one child’s sin sends a very strong message to the other children. Do they get a free pass? Sin breaks up families. But sticking to what you know is right may cause the prodigal child to come to repentance and return home, free of the shackles of sin that had a grip on them. They will remember there is a peaceful home they left that is a light in their darkness. They will crave that!
At the beginning of your knowledge of their sin, you can make sure they know why it is sin by sharing God’s word with them. Don’t be sinfully angry and lashing out, but lovingly show them why it’s a sin against God. They can know you are there to help them through this. But if they continue in their sin, the separation in relationship is on them, not you. When they finally see their sin for what it is (the Holy Spirit will enlighten them when they stop quenching Him), they will make the first move toward restoration. Pray for them and be there with open arms of love when they return home in repentance of their sin.
Romans 12:9: “Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.”
In 2023, let’s not be enablers, but help others live their best life for God to live an abundant life of joy and purpose as they serve Jesus Christ and His kingdom.
Jesus said, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” John 10:10
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